Parenting is a very rewarding venture but it is both hard and tasking. Some have been able to negotiate the rigors and intricacies of this God given responsibility. However, some others have not been too successful. Why is it so? How can parents be better in this job of rearing children? I am a parent and I also have many close friends who are parents too. My personal experience as well as that of my friends have given me an idea of some of the factors that influence how successful parents are in their job of parenting. Here are a list of 9 things a parent should bear in mind if she wants to succeed.
- Trust Yourself. You need confidence and a positive attitude. Why not tell yourself that you can do it and then confidently work towards being successful. Start with learning from other parents who have been successful. Seek guidance from your creator through study of the bible and gain first-hand knowledge from the author of family life.
- You are not a super- parent. Always remember that being a parent doesn’t make you invincible so be prepared for surprises. Be ready to learn as you go, to make mistakes and learn from them. Ask for assistance whenever you need it because, no one knows it all.
- Do it with grace and splendor. Always remember that children are your greatest blessing and your heaviest responsibility so, fortify yourself by taking good care of yourself, improving your knowledge through study and prayers too. Appreciate the opportunity you’ve been given to make a difference in someone else’s life.
- Master the art of listening. Children need a lot of time and patience. In order to really understand them, you must learn to patiently listen to them and to always respond in a loving manner. Make out time to just hang out with them. Do things together and engage them in casual but meaningful conversations.
- Learn to let go. Allow them space to grow and learn too. Just guide them. Don’t try to micro-manage every aspect of your children’s life. You only do that for babies. Let your children experience life and learn as they go. Always remember that they will eventually be on their own.
- Don’t expect gratitude. If you want to be happy as a parent, don’t expect children to always show how grateful they are for the things you do, love them nonetheless because your love should be unconditional. Give love time to blossom in their hearts and don’t worry about it. It may take time but if you did a good job, one day, they may surprise you. You never know.
- Be strong. Bear in mind that you will have both good and bad days too so be prepared. Simply do your best and leave the rest to them and to God.
- Remember. You cannot protect them from everything, it’s okay if they hate you sometimes but don’t forget to walk the talk and teach by example.
- Be realistic. Don’t always expect to be hundred percent successful. Leave room for errors and failures and remember that no matter how excellent a job you do, you may still be disappointed. Be satisfied that at least you tried.
Do you have some ideas to share? Feel free to do so and help another parent be as successful as you are.
Do you truly want to be happy ?
Do you want to radiate joy and lighten up every room you step into ?
Do you want to be that friend who everyone wants to be with ?
Then, you have to do something. Human tendency is to whine and complain and never be satisfied but you can choose to be different. You can choose to wake up happy and go to bed proud on a daily basis.
Here are 3 things you can do in order to achieve that.
- Get out of bed with a song of praise on your lips, yes you can choose to be happy. Start by remembering that not everyone who went to bed at night woke up like you did. So, recount your numerous blessings; You probably didn’t go to bed hungry, you are not in a hospital bed and you have a roof over your head. It doesn’t matter if it’s made of iron sheets or thatch or if your’s is the roof of a car. Be grateful that you have one or two people who care about you even if they’re not family. Be grateful because not everyone has it this good.
- Show your gratitude by doing one good deed or two. Touch a life positively and spread joy through your kind words and Godly actions. Experience the joy that comes from giving. Do not try to do everything in one day but get going without delay. Your daily to-do-list shouldn’t include more than three major activities. The less you do, the better your result.
- Make sure to take a break at the end of the day to see how you did. Sometimes, we get too busy and miss out on the beauty of living. Make out time to meditate on all you have done for the day. Be happy about the tasks you accomplished. Realize some of your mistakes and learn from them. Find out the areas you failed and let those motivate and challenge you to do more. Never waste your time regretting what could have been but rather, thank God for the day, get some rest and be ready to face tomorrow.
What other things have helped you achieve peace and happiness ?
Let’s hear from you
Trust, love and respect have one thing in common, they are all reciprocal. You cannot expect to earn someone else’s trust if you are not trustworthy.
This is especially so with our children especially teenagers and young adults.
As children get older, the job of parents generally become more complex and sensitive. Striking a balance between love for our children and their need for independence becomes a challenge.
Parents usually are as unprepared as the teenagers and may even be more scared and uncertain about things. Without a mutual trust, it becomes even harder for parents and teenagers to get along.
Let me quickly say that it doesn’t come naturally for some parents to trust their children. Out of fear and their own insecurities, they tend to freak out and give teenagers less credit than they may deserve. And so they end up not trusting the parents. They keep to themselves, confide in their equally immature friends and tell little lies just to make parents happy; recipe for disaster. So, what can we do as parents to make our older children trust us enough to confide in us ?
Here are 3 things you can do in order to earn the trust of your older child.
- Treat her with respect.
- Give her responsibilities and show her that you trust her to do a good job, don’t hover
- Follow through your promises and stand firm in enforcing set boundaries.
- Ask her opinions about certain family decisions and allow her freedom to make her own decisions when appropriate.
- Guide her, make suggestions but let her make her own decisions about certain things like her friends or a career choice.
- Openly admit it when you are wrong and don’t find it difficult to say “I’m sorry”.
- Communicate openly.
- Make out time to talk with her.
- Talk about things that can improve trust like; finishing chores, being honest, respecting the curfew etc.
- Be sincere in answering her questions. Be honest when you don’t have an answer to her questions.
- Learn to listen to both verbal and non verbal communication.
- Discuss the meaning of trust and reasons why it’s important in any relationship.
- Avoid shutting her down. Never use being busy as an excuse to avoid talking things over.
- Give positive reinforcements.
- Acknowledge her efforts at doing the right thing and give sincere commendations.
- A simple “thank you”, a pat on the back or a hug when appropriate tells her that you approve and encourages her to do more.
- Give her more privileges, more freedom and allow her to enjoy the satisfaction of getting something done.
- When there is need for correction or discipline, always remember to do so with love and affection.
I’m sure you have other things to add. So, go on and share your opinions. What else can a parent do in order to earn the respect of her older child.
Waiting to hear from you.
My beloved father is my hero
The man that built confidence in me
He who made me think I could conquer the world
The first person ever to believe in me
My father is my true hero
He gave me everything he had; his love, his time, his protection, his attention and courage and his wisdom too
He taught me to believe in myself
He treated me like a queen and made me believe I could be one
He taught me to be humble, loving, caring and selfless
To be strong and empathetic at the same time
He made work and chores playful and fun
He had an energy reserve and was always doing something
He looked at my face and could read my mood
He gave me an opportunity to be educated even though he had very little of it
He showed me what it means to love by loving my mum and my siblings and all our friends
He came from nothing but worked hard and made a niche for himself
He remained brave even during his final battle with cancer
He has gone to rest but his legacy lives on
I remember him with a lot of love and fond memories
I look forward to being with him when everything is new again
To tell him how grateful I am for being his daughter
And to enjoy his love and his care and his wisdom
I miss him so much but I know it isn’t really goodbye
My beloved father is my true hero